HP Lovecraft was afraid of the ocean. He was also afraid of miscegenation. People interbreeding with sea monsters to produce human hybrids is a major plot point in his stories. I grew up in the part of new England he used to write about. Our football team was the Fish(er)men. There were an unusual amount of teen pregnancies in my senior year… Nearly 100 years latter on the other side of the world however. Tentacles have transformed from an object of horror and revulsion. to one of playful eroticism. From the dream of the ﬁsherman’s wife, to ravenous Hentai sex monsters, to the innocent childlike protagonists of Ika Musume and Splatoon, the once frightening cephalopod has become our friend and lover. How does this happen? Can anything really disgust us for very long?
Man eating squid
Bikini, the second planet orbiting TauCeti. A world of tropical oceans inhabited by humans and sea monsters. The war has ended, but the oceans are still unsafe. Ironclad Battleships rule the waves, and unspeakable horrors lurk the depths. Light armored cruiser Caeneus sails the western ocean hunting pirates.
The Cabin boy should have knocked. Enlisted always knock before entering an oﬃcer’s cabin, especially the captain’s cabin
“The Union will not be pleased if their Representative is harmed in any way captain.” “With all due respect Mr Silva, I trust my crew to do their job more than I trust the pirates to cooperate with your demands. And my crew trusts me to prioritize their safety. Thalassa out!”
It sounded like a struggle. She was being devoured by a mass of pulsating tentacles. They moved in and out of her body, enveloping even as they penetrated. Inside and outside were meaningless. Only the orange-blue contrast of tanned ﬂesh against nacreous phosphorescence indicated that these were ever separate beings. The Capitan’s bikini hung off one ankle as the longest tentacle squirmed through her anus. On the other side it emerged. As her mouth opened in a silent moan, the boy’s mouth opened with a very audible scream.
“Helm Full ahead, don’t let them escape. Fire control, put another salvo into their aft, Knock out the rudder.” On the Capitan’s order, the sound of iron thunder crashes over the waves and 6inch shells ﬁnd their targets. Fully dressed in her oﬃcer’s bikini she radiates authority. Tattoos on her arms mark her as scion of admiralty and master of the ship. But the boy can’t stop staring at her ass, can’t forget what he saw yesterday.
The tentacles belonged to Princess Surume Koika spawn of Tiamat, ambassador of the Kraken clan. Just as startled as he was, she turned dark red and unleashed a jet of Ichor which stained everything purple. Slowly the two began to untangle. The princess morphed into the humanoid form she normally presents as the captain stared the boy down.
The pirates signal surrender. The boy volunteers for the boarding party. He’s issued a machine pistol, folding stock, over-sized suppressor. The marines laugh as they gear up, Tactical bikinis, carbines and cutlasses, itching for action.
The captain’s displeasure wavered as the princess slowly withdrew. The tentacle in her throat gagged her commanding voice and the arousal dripping off of her glistening naked body revealed a humanity the boy had never seen in her before. As soon as her throat was clear she coughed up a wad of black ichor and began chewing him out. Her upper lips spat orders but her lower lips drooled pleasure. “You“ cough “Back here” gag “ﬁve Minutes” hack “cleaning” pant “until I personally relive you. Are we clear?”
The boat is lowered into the water. The boy remembers masturbating to fantasies of slaying monsters and laying princesses. Now it’s all confused. What was he thinking? The war ended before he was born. The boat arrives.
He did as he was told. In ﬁve minutes he had changed out of his soiled uniform bikini and returned with a mop. The Capitan was gone “Cap says ya gotta clean this up blorp She’ll be back after dinner to check your progress.” Slouching in her bathtub, the princess told him what he already knew. A Bathtub was a rare luxury on a warship, but her skin had to be kept moist, and standing up for long periods would be stressful for somebody lacking bones.
The marines assault the pirate vessel. Combat sandals pound the decks. Sweaty bodies movie into position. Big guns ready to shoot at… nothing. It’s deserted.
“Wanna try?” The princess asked, distracting the cabin boy from his work. From his position, all he could see were two glistening legs hanging off the edge of her bathtub. No not legs, tentacles, feeding tentacles, dripping ichor and lined with cilia. “I’m told I’m a great, blorp, what was it called? Fuck? yeah that’s the word.” The boy hesitated, but set his mop aside to look at her. “I didn’t know Kraken had sex.”
Blood everywhere, no bodies. The marines advance with quiet intensity, disappointed someone beat them to the violence.
“Not normally.” The princess explained, changing color. “If I wanted to spawn I’d ﬁnd a cute boy Kraken to devour, then lay my eggs and die. Blorp,
But I’m trying to ﬁt in. Thalassa tastes nice and it’s fun watching her do that, blorp, thing” She giggled as luminescent patterns moved across her skin. “Taste good?” “Oh, blorp, not that way I’ve never eaten human before.” Her skin stooped ﬂashing and turned a softer blue.
Screaming. The union Representative is found hiding in a corner, paralyzed with terror.
The boy entered the bathroom, he’d never seen her this close before.
She was a cannibalistic sea monster, but she was also the ﬁrst person on the ship to oﬀ er sex rather than demand it. Surrounded by tentacles was what looked like a nude female torso, limbless like A broken statue. It was fake, her stomach turned inside out and contorted into an attractive shape. He knew this but he couldn’t stop staring. On top of it’s head her real body stared back at him with two unblinking eyes. “We gonna fuck or not?”
The boarding party ﬁnds her in the engine room, swallowing this time. Her digestive system is outside her body and inside his, dissolving it from the inside out. She sucks up the liqueﬁed organs, then the deﬂated husk. “Stand down!” The captain stops the marines before they open ﬁre.
He spent the rest of the night working in silence. The princess stopped bothering him and The Capitan relieved him the next morning. Safe in his bunk, he regrets not saying yes.
“Oh hey Thalissa!” The princess disgorges the pirate’s bones before squeezing herself back into her human disguise. “I got bored, so I thought I’d help. Blorp, Didn’t realize humans tasted diferent this way.” ~Fin